It’s February and everyone is talking about love and romance. But what about self-love? The year has only just begun and I bet many of us are already pulled in a million directions, with little or no time to devote to yourself -- self-care, time toward your personal goals. So this February, before we get swept into another month where we lose ourselves, let’s take a moment to focus on what we want for ourselves this year.
We just experienced that time of year when the pressure to make our resolutions for the New Year was upon us. I say pressure because, let’s be honest, doesn’t it feel like it sometimes? “THIS is the year I will reserve more time for myself” you say with confidence! (Only to find yourself eating cold leftover pizza with cold coffee at midnight while you force yourself to stay awake long enough to email that important thing to your boss… and it’s only February!). Yeah, we get it. I’m lucky if I can even remember my New Year’s Resolution! And according to a study conducted by the University of Scranton, only a shocking “8 percent of people achieve their New Year's goals.” So, why do we continue to make them year after year?
Because inherently we know there is value in goal setting – and we’re right! According to an 18 year scientific study on goal setting, scientists found that establishing goals did in fact help people achieve tasks at a more prominent rate than those who did not set goals. But there’s a catch – the goals must be specific, challenging (but realistic), and open to feedback from others.
So, it seems resolutions, in and of themselves—are not the problem. In fact, goal setting is one of the key indicators of success. But the type of goals we set do matter. We’ve just been going about them all wrong! We set ambiguous goals that have no clear plan of action. Furthermore, do we even write them down? Or do we just verbalize them in our head at midnight on January 1st and expect to keep a promise we made to ourselves after having too many glasses of champagne?
Whether you’ve already forgotten your resolutions and need a reboot, or if you just need some self-love to keep you motivated here are my five easy tips to really help you keep your resolution this year:
1. BE SPECIFIC:
More often than not, our resolutions are too general. One way to significantly improve your goal setting is to make your goals Specific. Start by naming exactly what you want to achieve, when you want to achieve, and the strategy you will use to achieve your goal. In other words, the more details you put in your goal the more likely you are to achieve it. This information will turn your goal from a wish into a plan! Instead of saying, “I want more work/life balance this year” try, “I will reduce the days I bring work home from 5 days a week to 4 days a week by March 2020.”
2. CHALLENGE YOURSELF (but not too much!):
Sometimes we set goals that are a little too easy. Studies show that if we don’t feel like the goal is challenging enough we tell ourselves it’s not worth achieving. On the other hand, sometimes we make our resolutions so unattainable we make it impossible for ourselves to reach them. Psychologists say we do this so we’re not so disappointed when we don’t attain them. We justify it to ourselves by saying, “Well, it was such a hard goal anyway…it’s no wonder I couldn’t do it.” So, the key is to create a goal that is just challenging enough, but not so unrealistic that you won’t even let yourself get started. Be Goldilocks and create a goal that is ‘just right!’
3. SHOW AND TELL:
Many scientific studies indicate that simply writing your goals down increases your chances of achieving that goal by 33%! After you write it down – show it to yourself. Tape it to your bathroom mirror or tape it to the inside of your office drawer—somewhere you’ll see it every day. Then, I recommend taking this one step further. Once you’ve written it down, go tell people. By verbally expressing your personal goals to others you make it real. Plus, when others know about your goal that means they can help hold you accountable. You can even ask them to check in with you periodically, and offer to do the same for them. Don’t shy away from constructive feedback. The people you tell should have your best interests in mind. So, tell as many people as you want – the more, the merrier! But, be sure to tell people you know will support you and hold you accountable in positive ways. Nobody needs a Debbie-downer when you’re trying to make positive changes in your life. Telling others is a great opportunity to reaffirm the promises you made to yourself!
4. TAKE BABY STEPS:
It’s more than unrealistic to expect yourself to hold onto the same goal for 12 whole months! So don’t! Break the larger goal into smaller parts that are more achievable in the beginning, then build up to bigger goals once you’ve experienced some success. Once you’ve had a taste of success, you’re sure to go after more! This is the key to sticking with your big goal for the long haul! For example, in January start with “I will stretch once a week for 10 minutes” then increase to “I will stretch twice a week for 20 minutes” by March. By December, you may be saying, “I will go to the gym for one hour 3x a week.” Rome wasn’t built in a day…remember, baby steps, my friend!
5. BE KIND:
Probably the most important tip is to be kind to yourself during this process. We have a tendency to beat ourselves up if we don’t achieve a goal or even if we’re working toward a goal and we slip up. If you do, know that it’s ok. It’s going to happen, so just accept it. Then, pick yourself up, dust yourself off and get right back on the horse. Slip-ups, set-backs or fall-downs are all better than giving up. When it happens, acknowledge that it did, but know that it doesn’t mean you’re defeated or that the goal cannot be achieved. Remember…You got this!
Be bold and reaffirm your New Year’s resolution with us (see tip #2!). Ok, I’ll start:
I will grow ThinkTwyce so that our donations to schools increases
by at least 50% by the end of December 2020!
Now that we’re equipped with the self-loving skills to achieve our resolutions this year…let’s go crush it!
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